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This process is counterproductive; doing acts of kindness should not result in resentment.
All we need to be liked and appreciated is to have a sincere attitude of caring for others.
In the above prayer, we ask God to bless our hosts and to consider them meritorious.
has a fantastic online chart that tells you the exact candle-lighting time for your local city. Rabbeinu Yona took this tragedy as a sign of heavenly rebuke against him; as a way to repair the damage, he undertook to write his famous work Shaarei Teshuva (Gates of Repentance), a Jewish system of introspection and self-improvement. Therefore you say to yourself, "I am becoming more and more serene each and every day." Or even, "I am becoming more and more serene with each step that I take," when you are walking. Some people are "people pleasers." They do things for others to earn their favor and affection.
A benevolent attitude will translate itself into benevolent deeds.
This "intangible" will be felt by other people, even when we are unable to do anything for them.
By the way, though most communities light Shabbat candles 18 minutes before sunset, local custom may vary.
For instance in Jerusalem, the custom is to light 40 minutes before sunset. 26; Badei Ha Shulchan ) And one more point: While women usually begin Shabbat upon lighting the candles, men usually begin Shabbat as part of the Kabbalat Shabbat synagogue service. Rabbeinu Yona was an outspoken critic of Maimonides' writings, particularly "Guide for the Perplexed." The governmental authorities later used this as a pretext to burn piles of Maimonides' books and copies of the Talmud.
Many communities do this during the summer months, when sunset can be very late -- even p.m. That's because the Jewish day -- from sunrise to sunset -- is divided into 12 equal parts.
So no matter how long or short the day is, each twelfth is considered "one hour." It's a bit complicated, so you may want to have a rabbi help you with the math.