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) or serious (I was uncomfortable when you...), using tact is necessary.
You wouldn’t want to drop a heavy-conversation bomb on your partner out of nowhere, and in order to share a erotic thought effectively, you have to start with getting yourself in the mood.
Couples may put off these conversations time and again because bringing these topics to light can mean rocking the boat and digging up some potentially embarrassing or unpleasant feelings.
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Growing up, we were taught to “use our words” whenever we wanted to express what was on our mind, as opposed to pouting and acting generally miserable to get attention.
That’s pretty sound advice coming from our elementary-school epoch; why is it that we leave that lesson behind as we get older?
This sets the stage, plain and simple, for you to take some time to talk.
Take that last heart-melting thing that your partner did, whether accidental or intentional, and share it with them as one of your new favorite turn-ons.
If you'd like to begin having those conversations that aren’t always easy to start, here are a few ways to initiate or segue into it: You can be really playful with this.
Use it innocuously the first few times (“Can I ask you a personal question? ”) and then mix it up as you initiate foreplay by asking them about their favorite place they like to be touched, or what they'd like to do to you in bed.
Particularly in romantic relationships, using our words is a step out of our comfort zone, since it is always easier to just send non-verbal signals and hope that our partners can read our mind. Sex is an especially tricky topic for some couples to talk openly about, and discussing it either seems to put it into an analytical or critical view, neither of which are that appealing.
And yet, many say communication is the secret to good sex.