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— Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Universe640K should be enough for anybody.
A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police. Dooley A Place For Everything And Everything In Its Place.
And the letters APFEAEIIP spell ‘good housekeeping’ in Fijiian.
Both high posts are reserved for men favoured by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion.
— H L Mencken A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English.
— Goldenstern’s Rules(1) Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.(2) A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.(3) A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.(1) Everything depends.(2) Nothing is always.(3) Everything is sometimes.(1) If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s biology.(2) If it stinks, it’s chemistry.(3) If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.(1) If you like it, they don’t have it in your size.(2) If you like it and it’s in your size, it doesn’t fit anyway.(4) If you like it and it fits, you can’t afford it.(5) If you like it, it fits and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wear it.(1) Never draw what you can copy.(2) Never copy what you can trace.(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.(1) The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.(2) You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.(1) Things will get worse before they get better.(2) Who said things would get better?
— Ehrman’s Commentary42: The answer to life, the universe, and everything.